This is a conversation with Andreea, my dear friend. We know each other for a lifetime, and she always inspired me by her desire to thrive and her will to build a beautiful life. This article is my way of thanking her for being a constant presence into my life.
Tell us about yourself, where do you come from?
My name is Andreea, I’m born and raised in Bucharest, Romania – an Est-European, former communist, country. My parents got divorced when I was little, and I was raised by my grandparents - not an ideal combination for a rather traditionalist society back in the ‘80s. My grandma remains my ray of sunshine and I’m so grateful for her unconditional love and care 😍
Currently I’m working within Digital Communication for an automotive company. Working in PR remains my passion and dream job since ever, along with writing. I love writing stories and I’m grateful for having the chance to be a content creator at work, but also during my free time. Writing is a way to express myself and along with reading, is a big source of happiness for me.
I’m also Alexandru's mother, an eight-year-old boy, Ionut's wife and your friend, Arina, since we were like 10 or 11 years old!
What would be the word that best describes your life so far?
We haven't even started the discussion and you already ask me a tough question 😊 I think ‘searching’ is the word that best describes my life so far.
In a way or another, I was always searching, feverishly, for something or someone. Love, friendship, the ideal workplace, the body to love, the perfect blond, a house where I can be happy, a good relationship with my mother... I was always looking for something and I haven't stopped. What's different now, is that I realised that all this time I was actually looking for myself, the real Andreea, the one proud about herself, enjoying life and being happy. Even if it sounds like a truism, what I was looking for during all this time, it was actually the real me.
What are the values that guide you in life?
My grandpa always used to tell me that the most important thing in life is to lay your head serenely on the pillow when you go to sleep. That is what I always tried to do. I am a genuinely honest person who tries to be and do good. Even though the current society is often guided by different values than the ones that I grew up with, still for me the most important things are not related to a social position, professional status or money. What is important for me is rather my journey as a human being.
Are you satisfied with what you left behind, are you proud with yourself, did you sleep peacefully knowing what impact your life had on others, did you influence those around you in a positive way? Your influence and impact on those around you is for a lifetime, the other things will just vanish one day.
What was the biggest challenge in your life and how did you cope with it?
The biggest challenge in my life so far was becoming a mom. I always wanted to have children but without even knowing what it actually means to be a mom or a parent, as I think is the case for every parent to be. To dedicate an important part of your life to a little person and take responsibility for that person’s life and evolution as a human being, are huge commitments. And in this whole complex and tough process of becoming a mother, you as a being, as a woman, as a wife, as a friend, need to take a step back. You start to lose sense of who you are, as you don’t have time and energy for yourself anymore. Of course, each person’s experience is unique, but this is what I personally felt during this journey.
After a while, when my kid was bigger and with the help of others, I started searching for myself again and I realise that I’m a New Person, a different one than I was before becoming a mother. I could not go back to my old self, and I did not know who I was anymore, so I started to rebuild and search for myself.
What was your biggest success in life and how did you enjoy it?
I did not fully answer the question above because my success is practically related to the challenge I talked about. All the struggles and hard moments I covered as a mother, the questions I asked myself on repeat, the discussions with others, including my therapist, the desire to be a better person and an example for my boy, the need to find a new meaning for my life, this whole process helped me to transform and evolve as a person.
For me, being a mother was (and is) a challenge, but at the same time was my chance to start a new journey of becoming a better person, to make peace with myself and my past, to find the balance I really needed in my life.
Do you think you've found balance in life? If so, what helped you? If not, what blocked you?
To find and be balanced is one of my goals. I used to spend a lot of time at work, mostly during my time working for PR agencies. The extended working hours were often followed by parties and other forms of escape and coping with the stress and pression of the professional life. After all those years, I ended up being extremely tired, always sleepy, with gastric issues which followed important and successful events at work. I was a little bit lost and absent from my family life and from MY life in general.
The pandemic and a change of role within the company allowed me to spend more time at home, with my husband and son, to take care of my family, to find time for myself and for my needs, either going to therapy or to a beauty centre. I rediscovered the joy for reading, taking long walks, biking or baking muffins 😊.
The only person that helped me was myself, by reprioritising selfcare, like you also teach us, Arina! The person that blocked me was also … me 😊 Like I told you at the beginning of the interview, all the answers, all the powers and all the limits are in you. You are the person who can make magic for you!
What would be something that you thought was very important in life and turned out not to be?
I always measured myself through the eyes of others. I struggled to be a good colleague and employee, to be a good friend or girlfriend, a hard-working daughter and so on. In conclusion, I struggled to be a good, nice girl.
One day I reached a moment when I realised that I was living for others, for their acceptance and their appreciation. Who I was and how I felt was related to others’ opinion about me. In other words, if my boss was telling me: ‘Bravo, the project turned verry well’, I was happy and I thought I was valuable. If my hair looked nice and I had a new dress and people admired me, their words made me feel beautiful. If I had a good day, joking and entertaining others, bravo again!
Now I know that I am a valuable person, even if I don't have a good day at the office or consecutive professional successes. I'm beautiful even with a messy hair and an outfit from years ago, I’m a good friend even if I don’t feel like going to a party.
My goal is to be good with myself and do something small for myself every day, to enjoy life and to be proud of who I am, Andreea the person, not the employee, daughter, mother, friend and so on.
Based on your life experience, what is a lesson you would pass on to others?
All our discussion during this interview could be a lesson for those who find themselves in my story and in my life experiences so far. Maybe the word lesson is a bit too much, so I would rather say inspiration. I would like to inspire others to look for answers inside them, to search for their true selves, to live for themselves and not to please others.
What is the intention you set for your next part of your life?
To continue the discovery of myself, to evolve being Andreea, to be proud of who I am, to continue doing good and inspire others.
Do you have in your life a person that would be brave enough to share her/his story? Or maybe you would like to share yours? Remember that there are infinite ways in which we can learn from each other, by sharing our experiences, good or bad, as in each one of them there’s something to learn and a growth opportunity. Please reach out to me at arina.filippi@gmail.com and I would be happy to join you (or your friend) in a conversation that could be shared on my blog and spread a positive impact with so many others.
I'm with you,
Arina
Comments