This conversation is with Stéphanie, that I met virtually after leaving Montréal. Over the past three years, we developed a digital friendship and learned to know each other in this way. I invited Stephanie to be part of my Everyday heros series because her authenticity inspires me. Even though we are miles apart she is one of the most natural and truthful persons I know. I hope you will enjoy this conversation as much as I did!
Tell us about yourself, where do you come from?
I was born in the suburbs of Montreal (Quebec, Canada) in the ’70s, in a French-speaking family. I knew from a very young age that I was a writer. I spent my childhood at the library, books are very reassuring to me. I am a poet, a paper artist, a creativity coach, a gatherer, a walker, a deeply curious and rather introvert woman, who loves above all to learn, and to share. As an artist and writer, the issues of femininity, memory, living and healing, challenge and inspire me. After a burn-out 5 years ago, I had to examine my way of functioning, my priorities, my relationship with others. After a few years of preparation, I was able to give up my corporate job and became a creativity coach, in addition to pursuing my artistic activities full time and offering collage and poetry workshops where I put well-being at the forefront.
What would be the word that best describes your life so far?
Learning! Learning and being curious connect me with my values. I like to learn all kinds of things, I won’t have enough of this life to learn everything I want! That probably goes against the current of our modern world, but I am not interested in becoming an expert in something, I prefer to be a generalist in a lot of things. At the moment, I have started to learn weaving, because I find it fascinating and gorgeous, but also to get closer to this craft that my paternal grandmother practised until the last years of her life. The gestures of weaving bring me closer to her memory.
What are the values that guide you in life?
A few years ago, I worked with a coach to define my values. At the time, I was fairly surprised by the results, but these 6 values are actually the core of my life: Authenticity, pleasure, security, autonomy, contribution, evolution. When I am faced with a challenge or a questioning, I bring out my values and I observe how they can help me to make a choice or to be aligned with who I really am.
What was the biggest challenge in your life and how did you cope with it?
Having a kid on the spectrum is by far my biggest challenge. Being a mom is always a challenge, but sometimes it gets hard. You do not want your child to suffer, to be rejected, you would like to take their pain and makes everything go away. What has helped me in the last years is to realize that everything is impermanent. I live the joys by remembering that they will pass. And get through the difficulties by telling myself … that they shall pass too! This is truly a learning experience that serves me in all areas of my life.
What was your biggest success in life and how did you enjoy it?
I can’t pick just one! Every year brings its share of successes, big and small. My greatest success is always the one ahead of me when I reach a new goal that takes me out of my comfort zone. For this year of 2023, my greatest success is checking off one of the items on my bucket list: doing a writing residency abroad. I will spend a month in La Napoule in the south of France, with 10 other Canadian artists, working on my digital poetry project that takes me TOTALLY out of my comfort zone!
Do you think you’ve found balance in life? If so, what helped you? If not, what blocked you?
Balance is a very impermanent thing by definition. I am currently in a period of my life where I have a very nice balance, I appreciate it. I have time to write, to be creative in every aspect of my life and to help others with their creativity. What helped it? My kids are older, I have more time, fewer financial obligations. Let’s face it: time and money don’t solve everything, but they really help. I always had my creativity and my writing, but I had long cycles in my life where I couldn’t exercise it because of my outside responsibilities. Now I have a lot of autonomy and I feel more aligned.
What would be something that you thought was very important in life and turned out not to be?
Perfection and other people’s opinion. I am still working on that, but I think I am getting better!
Based on your life experience, what is a lesson you would pass on to others?
Do not wait to be totally ready. Just do it.
What is the intention you set for your next part of your life?
My time and my energy are sacred … and limited. This is something I did not realize when I was younger, but it hit me a couple of years ago. I want to spend my energy where it’s worth. I also want to continue to find poetry in my life, which to me means to pay attention closely to everyday details: shadow plays on a wall in the afternoon, moss under my fingers in the forest, peaches in season, my dog who welcomes me with joy when I come home, the sound of ice cubes, the smell of mimosa, recognizing the footsteps of someone you love, or having gratitude for good friendships. Thank you Arina for this conversation!
You can find more about Stéphanie on her website stephaniefilion.com or by subscribing to her monthly newsletter (in French).
Do you have in your life a person that would be brave enough to share her/his story? Or maybe you would like to share yours? Remember that there are infinite ways in which we can learn from each other, by sharing our experiences, good or bad, as in each one of them there’s something to learn and a growth opportunity. Please reach out to me at arina.filippi@gmail.com and I would be happy to join you (or your friend) in a conversation that could be shared on my blog and spread a positive impact with so many others.
I'm with you,
Arina
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